jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home

(via s-onderlust)

s-onderlust:

niknumber3:

people say they are worried about their daughter getting pregnant

but never say they are worried about their son getting someone pregnant

says a lot

not sure if this is meant to be a joke or not but it actually makes sense.. there’s no show for “16 and got a girl pregnant”

(Source: african-fairy)

warpedesto:

do you ever just

make a friend and think

I am so glad this friend is mine

(via s-onderlust)

malijuanastyles:

I was sitting next to my crush last period and I started smiling in the middle of our quiz so he tapped me and whispered “hahah what’s so funny” and I said “ha nothin” but really I was thinkin about bouncin on his dick

(via s-onderlust)